


A Long Overdue Sleepover

by Java_bean



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), Fluff, Gen, Pillow Fights, Sleepovers, all the beta kids just hanging out and having fun, watching nic cage movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-06 13:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13412139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Java_bean/pseuds/Java_bean
Summary: Jade's always wanted to spend time with all of her closest friends.  Now that they're all together on Earth C, she can finally have the sleepover of her dreams.(In short: the Beta Kids all have a sleepover, complete with bad movies and sleepover shenanigans)





	A Long Overdue Sleepover

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this originally as a request for @imperialpoet, a very sweet person on tumblr. It was a really great prompt, and I had so much fun writing this! Honestly, all those kids deserved a big group hangout and I'm so glad I was given the opportunity to try and write that.
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this!

You’ve been planning this for a little over a week, and it would be a total lie to say you haven’t been near bursting with excitement about it. Honestly, even if you did try to be aloof and lie about it it wouldn’t be very convincing. Your tail starts wagging and you can’t control your own big, goofy grin whenever you so much as think about it. The day is finally here, all your preparations are done, and you’re so excited you can’t sit still.

After everything was settled on Earth C (getting all the kingdoms in order, living arrangements, figuring out just what the fuck you’re expected to do as a god) you’d decided it was about time you did something you’ve wanted to do ever since you were a little island girl with nothing but your dog and a computer for company. 

You invited your friends to spend the night.

You’re keeping yourself busy rearranging the living room and making sure you have enough snacks when John arrives. You know he’s there before he even knocks (heightened senses are one of the very few perks of being fused with a dog) and it takes all your self control to keep from breaking your own front door down and tackling him to the porch before he has the chance to. Luckily it’s not a long wait, and it’s exactly .5 seconds after he lays knuckle to door that you have him knocked to the ground in a big bear hug. 

“Wow,” John laughs, “that’s not the welcome I was expecting.”

“I’m happy to see you, what other kind of welcome were you expecting?” You ask as you stand up and help him to his feet. “You’re the first one here, by the way.”

“I am?” He follows you inside and plops down on the couch. “Cool, I win!”

“Congratulations!” You toss a pillow at him. “What’s your prize?”

“More quality time with my sister.” He throws it right back at you. “Duh.”

“Well, if that’s what you really want." You sit down next to him on the couch and shove the pillow in his face. “Take that!”

“Oh no!” His sputtering is muffled by the pillow you’re pressing into his face. He starts flailing his arms and legs, but you dodge anything that might hit you. 

“I’m gonna smother you with sibling affection, John!”

Your door creaks open, and you tilt your head up to see Dave poke his head in. Dave looks at you, and then at John, who’s failed to notice him due to the pillow still obscuring his vision. 

“Looks like I’m interrupting something important.” He finally says. “I’ll come back later. Pester me when you’re done murdering John, okay?”

He starts to close the door.

“Dave, get back here!” You take the pillow off of John and throw it at the door. It bounces harmlessly off the frame, but it’s enough to make Dave open the door again. 

“Okay, fine, you convinced me.” He walks in and picks the pillow up off the floor. “I’ll help.”

Before either you or John can say anything more, Dave’s standing over the couch with the pillow outstretched in front of him. He drops it on John’s head, and the pillow tumbles right back onto the floor.

“Mission accomplished?” 

“Mission accomplished.” You bump fists.

“Sweet. Now could one of y’all move? I’d like to sit my ass down. Cush the tush, if you know what I mean.”

“Yes, Dave I know what you mean.” You laugh, scooting over to make room for him between you and John.

He jumps over the back of the couch and lands with a bounce between you. 

“Don’t do that.” You scold. “You might break the couch.”

“Well, fuck, Jade, if your couch can’t handle that I can’t imagine how the hell it’s gonna hold up when we’re all jumping on it later.”

John furrows his eyebrows. “Are we all jumping on it later?”

“Yes.” Dave nods emphatically. “I am, anyway. Probably during the completely cliche and obligatory pillow fight I assume we’re having.”

“Are you saying what happened just now wasn’t a pillow fight?” John counters. “There was a fight. There were pillows. It all fits.”

“Dude, that was your definition of a pillow fight? You didn’t do shit that whole time, you literally sat here like a lumpy sack and let Jade and me hit you with a pillow. What kind of lame ass sissy pillow fighting have you been doing up til now?”

“Wow, Dave, I didn’t realize you were the pillow fight expert.” John bends over and picks the pillow up off the floor as subtly as possible. Considering the fact that the three of you are sitting together, it’s not very subtle at all. “You may be an expert at pillow fights, Dave, but are you an expert at surprise attacks?”

John throws the pillow, but Dave ducks out of the way before it can hit him. Instead, it gets you right in the face and skews your glasses.  
“You know, John, it’s funny you mention it because I actually am a fucking expert at surprise attacks. Especially at attacks made with a cheap and flimsy as shit goose filled pillow. You can’t pull a fast one on me, John. Can’t pull the wool or the feathers or whatever the fuck you stuff your sack with over my eyes. No one can.”

“Are you sure about that, Dave?” Dave turns to look at you, and just as he’s turning his head you smack him with the pillow. 

“Okay, fuck fine,” he rubs his cheek where you hit him and fixes his shades, “maybe I’m not an expert in terms of Harley attacks, you got me there.”

“You’re damn right, I got you there!” You laugh and hit him lightly in the chest this time. “And I got you there, too.”

“Okay,” Dave swats at the pillow in your hands, “I think that’s enough fucking around with the pillows for now. We can’t have a real bona fide pillow fight until Rose gets here, anyway.”

“I don’t see why we can’t just start right now.” John replies, dropping a pillow out from his sylladex. “We can have one now, and then we can go for round two when Rose comes.”

“Yeah, I agree! I’m sure Rose won’t mind.” 

“No, we have to wait for Rose because otherwise y’all are gonna gang up on me and take me down real easy. If Rose is here then at least the teams will be even.”

“I always thought pillow fights were a one man’s battle type deal.” John admits, looking to you for confirmation.

You shrug. “Don’t look at me, I’ve never been in a pillow fight before. Dave?” 

“We had a few on the meteor, but those got pretty heated and ended after some dunderfuck decided that head shots were a good idea. Horns can rip through a pillow case like a knife through melted butter. Feathers and shit everywhere, every god damn time no matter what. If a troll challenges you to a pillow fight don’t even try anything, just run because you’re leaving that thing with shreds of pillow and no dignity to speak of.”

“So what you’re saying is, you don’t know shit about pillow fights, either.”

“Yup. I know so little shit about pillow fights I’ve been diagnosed with mental constipation. Sorry to disappoint.”

You hit Dave one last time with the pillow. “If none of us know what we’re doing, then I guess we could wait for Rose. It’ll be more fun if we’re all here, anyway.”

“Do you know when she’s getting here?” John asks, dropping his pillow onto the floor.

“I talked with her earlier,” Dave replies, “she said she might be here in an hour or so. She’s doing something with Kanaya that couldn’t wait.”

“An hour or so.” You repeat, slumping into the couch. “Okay. So what do you want to do until then?” 

“An hour, you say?” John strokes his chin thoughtfully, and you can see a wry grin cross his face. You have a sinking feeling in your stomach, and from Dave’s face you suspect he feels the same. “I think that’s just about enough time to watch a movie.”

“John, we are not watching Con Air again.” Dave says, shutting him down immediately. “I can’t go through that bullshit movie again, John. I can’t.”

“Con Air?” John snorts. “What, do I look thirteen to you?”

“Yes.”

John punches Dave in the arm before continuing. “My Con Air days are over, I have matured far past any interest in that movie.”

“Jade, I can’t believe this.” Dave fake sniffles. “Our boy is growing up so fast, he’s practically a man now.”

“I know, it’s almost too much to bear!” You and Dave hug and pretend to sob on each other’s shoulders.

“Wow,” John says sarcastically, “you guys are assholes.”

“Okay. So what, your obsession with Nic Cage is over with now? I don’t know about you, Jade, but I think that sounds fucking fake. I smell bullshit in the air right now, John, and it’s coming straight out of your mouth anus.”

“That’s really gross, Dave.” John wrinkles his nose at him. “But no, that bullshit you’re smelling must be coming from somewhere else, because I am shit free.”

“Just like that? Your weird man crush has come and gone?”

“Wow, John, I can’t believe you would abandon poor Nic Cage like that.” You shake your head disapprovingly. “After everything he’s done for you.”

“Now hang on a minute, I never said anything about Nic Cage! He is still one hundred percent my dude. I said I was over Con Air.”

“Okay.” Dave detaches himself from you. “Now that we’ve made the distinction that you are still a fucking dork for that piece of ham Cage, what are you suggesting we watch?”

“I was thinking National Treasure.”  
“National Treasure?” Dave snorts. “Holy shit, I can’t believe your taste in movies got worse.”

“What the fuck’s wrong with National Treasure?” John asks defensively. “It’s an action packed thrill ride all across early American history! It’s a good movie!”

“One, no it’s not, and two, do you really think Jade wants to watch that? The girl’s probably only seen like, five movies in her whole fucking life, she’s the only member of the Crockerbertengarleys or whatever weird mash up of your last names works for y’all that has the potential to develop actual good taste in movies. She’s not even American, dude. At least I don’t think she is. Hey Jade, are you an American citizen? Was your island affiliated with a bigger country or were you just your own thing?”

“I...think it was our own thing? I don’t know, Dave, I was thirteen and I lived with a dog, I have no idea if I was part of some other country or not. Probably not. That island seemed pretty secluded. It doesn’t really matter now, though, does it? America doesn’t exist anymore, so technically I’m just as American as either of you guys.”

“Fuck. Yeah, you’re right.” Dave nods. “All the more reason not to watch the movie! All of the facts in it are entirely useless in this new universe!”

“But Dave,” John counters, “it’s Nic Cage. He steals the Declaration of Independence.”

“Fuck the Declaration of Independence.”

“It’s a piece of paper, dude. I think the most you could do is masturbate at it.”

“Gross.”

“Gross is what you get for hanging out with boys, Jade.”

“Okay, so I really want to watch this movie, and obviously Dave really doesn’t want to watch this movie. Jade, what do you want to do?” John asks. 

Both boys stare at you, waiting for you to break the tie between them. You think your options over carefully.

“I wanna see Cage steal the Declaration of Independence.”

“Fuck yes!” John whoops. “Best sister ever!”

He bumps your fist and scrambles over to your dvd player. “Jade, you’re gonna love this, I swear to god.”

“Man, you realize you technically are god, right? One of several? You’re just swearing on yourself.”

“Whatever, what I swear on doesn’t change the fact that this is an excellent piece of cinema and Jade’s going to love it.”

“I can’t wait to watch it!”

 

The movie isn’t as bad as Dave tried to claim it was, but it’s definitely not as good as John tried made it out to be, either.

“Hey, Dave?” You ask after awhile of watching John’s idol run around the screen and spout fact after fact about American history, much to the awe of his partners in crime.

“Yeah?”

“If I gave a shit about American history, would I find this movie more interesting?”

“Nope.” He shakes his head. “Not at all.”

“Thought so.” You get up off the couch and stretch before heading towards the kitchen.

John pulls himself away from the movie long enough to look at you. “Jade, where are you going? You can’t tell me you hate the movie that much!”

“I don’t, the movie’s fine!” It’s okay. “I just thought I’d go make some popcorn before Rose gets here.”

“Oh. That’s okay, then.” John shrugs and turns back around. “I’ll tell you if you miss anything.”

“Thanks.” You shuffle into the kitchen and start making the popcorn on the stove top. Sure, microwaving it would be faster, but there’s a lot less of it in a bag and you don’t like how it tastes all that much. John shouts comments about what you’re missing, mostly along the lines of “Holy shit, Jade, you have to see this!” and “hell yeah, you get them, Nic Cage!”

When you have the popcorn all done and in a big bowl, you take it back into the living room with you. You make Dave scoot over so you can sit between him and John so the bowl is easily accessible to everybody.

“Hey, Jade, you got any aj?”

“Geez, Dave, you still drink apple juice?” John laughs. “Aren’t you like, twenty?”

“Shut the fuck up, you’re never too old for juice!”

“Yeah,” you interrupt, “it’s in the kitchen.”

“Cool.” He nods, reaching over and taking a handful of popcorn. “Get it for me?”  
“What? No!”

“Come on, Jade.” He whines, leaning heavily against your shoulder. “Please.”

“No.” You push him off you. “I’m watching a movie.”

“Do you even know what’s going on right now?”

“Nic Cage is doing stuff and it’s cool.”

“Damn, she’s got you there, dude.” John adds as he pops some popcorn into his mouth. 

“See, I’m paying attention!”

“What’s Cage’s character’s name?” 

“It’s...” you search your brain for any reference of a name given, but find nothing, “it’s not Nic Cage?”

“Bam. Point proven. You have no idea what’s going on, you’re not watching this movie, and you are completely capable of getting me some aj. Game goal touchdown.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Dave?”

“Sports winning references. Don’t test me, Jade, I know what’s up.”

“And you also know where the kitchen is.” You reply, nudging him with your knee. “Go on, get your juice so I can sit here and enjoy whatever weird history based antics are happening in this movie.”

“They’re looking for Ben Franklin’s 3D glasses.”

You turn to John. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah.” John nods firmly. “He invented them, I think.”

“Wow, I didn’t know that.” You reply. “This movie really is educational.”

“I’d reconsider your definition of educational if I were you, Jade.” You look above you, and there’s Rose! She’s leaning against the back of the couch and smirking down at you. “I’ll admit, though I don’t know much about the subject of 3D glasses myself, I don’t think what John just said is accurate.”

“Are you denying the legitimacy of National Treasure’s facts, Rose?” John demands.

She leans forward and snags some popcorn out of the bowl in your lap. “Yes.”

“Okay,” John nods, “I have no idea how valid these facts are, either, but that’s not going to keep me from enjoying this movie.”

“Shit,” Dave chimes in, “should we have had a fact checker on this?”

“And how do you suppose we do that, Dave? Google?” She snorts. “I don’t think we’re going to find any information regarding if the facts in this by now ancient movie from a long dead universe are accurate or not. But if you can then yeah, you should definitely do that.”

“Oh, I’m going to.” He pulls out his phone and starts typing. “I’ll let you know if I find anything worth getting your snark on for.”

“Dave, my snark is on twenty-four seven, you should know that by now.” She replies. “But thanks, anyway.”

You watch her disappear into the kitchen. You wonder what she’s getting?

“Hey, Rose?” Dave yells without looking up from his phone.

“Yes?” She shouts back.

“I don’t know why you’re both shouting,” you butt in, “you’re only ten or so feet away from each other, you can hear each other just fine if you talk at a normal volume.”

Dave ignores you. “Could you get me some juice?”

“Why can’t you get it yourself?” You can hear Rose walking back to the living room, and you turn your head to see her standing there with a can of grape soda in her hand. She makes eye contact with you and holds up the soda and raises one eyebrow questioningly. You nod, she can definitely have it, you got it specifically for her, just like you got the apple juice specifically for Dave. You also got ecto-coolers for John, but since he’s graduated from Con Air you’re starting to wonder if he’s lost interest in Ghostbusters, too. 

“Because,” Dave replies, “I don’t want to.”

“Oh no, I’m sorry, Dave.” Rose sighs. “I would love to, but I can’t. My hands are full.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? You have an entire free hand. Right there.” He gestures at her right hand for emphasis.

“Oh, this hand? You must be mistaken, Dave. I’m clearly using this hand.” Without breaking eye contact with him, she pulls a bendy straw out of her sleeve and holds it up in her right hand. “See?”

“Fine,” Dave slides off the couch with an exaggerated groan and drags himself over to the kitchen, “you guys suck, I’ll get it myself.”

He purposefully bumps into Rose on his way there, and she’s quick to retaliate by bumping him with her hip. Once he’s out of sight, Rose walks over to the couch and takes his seat. 

“Have you had a straw up your sleeve this whole time, Rose?” John asks.

Rose cracks open the can and slides the straw in. “Yes, I did. I left home with it up my sleeve.”

“Why on earth would you do that?” You can’t help but laugh at her.

“I don’t know,” she shrugs, “I was leaving the house, but then I had to go back inside to get a straw because I felt like there would be a moment where I wouldn’t necessarily require a straw, but I would greatly appreciate the presence of one.”

“Oh,” John nods, “so you’re it was all your weird mystical seer powers.”

“Yeah,” she grins, “my 'mystical seer powers’.”

She waves her arms around and starts “oohing” ominously for emphasis. John is quick to join her, and you’re left a giggling mess between the both of them. 

“Fuck,” Dave says when he finally returns with a big cup of apple juice, “I leave for one damn minute and I come back to silly. What the hell.” 

He walks across the room and looks for a place to sit. He settles on the arm of the couch next to Rose. “You know, sometimes I forget how much of a huge fucking dweeb you are, Rose.”

“That’s rich, coming from Dave “dorkasaurus” Strider,” she laughs, flicking Dave in the shoulder, “you’re the biggest nerd I’ve ever had the pleasure of associating with.”

“Wow, Rose, I can’t believe you would say that.” Dave replies, faking offense. “Especially with these dumb chucklefucks in the running.”

“What are you trying to say, Dave?” You ask, raising your eyebrow.

“I’m saying you and John are giant geeks.”

“I take offense to that.” John says, not taking his eyes off the screen. He reaches into your lap and grabs a handful of popcorn. He tosses a piece at Dave, and it bounces harmlessly off his shades. “I am wounded, Dave! How dare you do this to me? I don’t think our friendship will ever recover from this shit you just spit at me, you damn asshole.”

“Bro, you’re making us watch National Treasure unironically because you have a hard on for Nic Cage.” Dave points out. “You’re a dork, end of story.”

John shrugs. “Fair enough.”

“Okay, but John’s your best friend,” Rose chimes in, “so that at least makes you a dork by proxy.”

“Never said I wasn’t a dork,” Dave says, taking a sip of his apple juice, “I just said I wasn’t the biggest dork you know.”

“I think it’s safe to say that we’re all dorks in our own special way,” you add, “and that’s why we’re all such great friends.”

“Gotta agree with Jade on this,” John elbows you lightly in the shoulder, “we’re all just one big goofy pile of geek.”

Dave thinks about it while taking another long drink of his juice. You’re pretty sure he’s blowing bubbles in it.

“Dave, if you’re even going to attempt to claim you’re not a complete nerdlord while you’re sitting there blowing bubbles in your juice like a giant toddler, I won’t hesitate to push you off this couch.” Rose threatens.

“Jade, Rose is threatening me.”

“If she doesn’t push you, I will.”

“Fine, I’ll admit, being part of your dork conglomerate doesn’t sound half bad, and y’all could probably use some of the dweeb yet cool patented Strider personality to spice up your dull ball of dweebitutde you currently have.”

“Gee, thanks, Dave.” Rose rolls her eyes. “Whatever would we do without you?”

“Watch this movie in peace, for starters.” John throws another piece of popcorn at him.

“Okay, okay, I get it! I’ll shut up!” Dave waves away John’s flurry of popcorn kernels. “Shit, it’s not like I’m the one that started this.”

“Yes, you are!” You throw a couple pieces of popcorn at him yourself. “But let’s save all the discussions about who’s a bigger dork or who started it for when the movie’s over, because I do actually want to see how this movie ends. What’s going on in it right now, John?”

“Something about Paul Revere, I think?” He replies.

“Who the hell’s Paul Revere?”

“British are coming.” Rose explains.

“Oh.” You don’t really get it, but whatever. “Okay.”

You sit back and watch the rest of the movie. There’s not a lot left, and you honestly have no idea what’s really going on, but you assume it would have made sense and you would currently be on the edge of your seat if you’d been paying attention up to this point. 

“Oh, wow.” You say when the credits begin to roll. “Cage did it. He found the National Treasure! Just like the title said!”

“Yep!” John nods, grinning. “And now he’s rich and happy and stuff.”

“I can’t believe the “I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence.” part is the only one that ever got turned into a meme.” There’s a hint of genuine disappointment in Dave’s voice.“That whole thing was riddled with memetic gold. Past earth was a fucking dunce for letting us down like that. No wonder it got destroyed.”

“Yes, that’s why Earth was destroyed. Lack of National Treasure memes.”

“So what are we gonna do now that the movie’s over?” John inquires as he gets up and walks over to the dvd player.

“Well, we could always pick up where we left off.” You suggest, your gaze slides over to Dave, who’s already subtly reaching for a pillow.

“Left off with what?” Rose asks right before Dave smacks her in the back of the head with a pillow.

You hold the popcorn bowl over your head so her face doesn’t hit the bowl or its contents as she falls forward onto your lap and then rolls onto the floor.

“Wow, that was a pretty good sneak attack, Dave.” You comment. “But didn’t you want Rose on your team?”

Rose gets to her feet and stares Dave down. There’s a dark smile on her face. “Pillow fights don’t have teams.” A pillow drops out of her sylladex and into her waiting hands. “It’s every man for himself!”

She strikes at Dave, but he’s already up and crouching behind the couch before the pillow gets anywhere near him. You can feel how the air was split from the force of Rose’s missed hit. You have a feeling that would have hurt if she’d made contact.

Rose climbs onto the arm of the couch and stands on it, her pillow at the ready. Dave stands up and tries to hit her quickly, but Rose is just as fast, and their pillows end up meeting in the middle. There’s an explosion of feathers, and Dave staggers back. Rose falls off the couch’s arm, but lands on her feet.

“I thought you knew better than to use goose down against me, Dave.” Rose laughs.

“I like goose down, fuck you!” Dave yells back. “It’s really soft. The real question is, why the hell do you sleep with your head supported by a goddamn brick?”

“I’m entitled to like extra firm pillows just as much as you’re entitled to feathered ones, Dave.” She hits him again with her pillow. 

“Hey!” John interrupts, rushing between the two of them and swinging a pillow wildly back and forth. “Jade and I are in on this, too!”

“That’s right, we are!” You decide to mimic Rose by climbing onto the back of the couch so you’re standing over the three of them. You replaced the bowl of popcorn in your hands with a big pillow. “But John, I gotta remind you, like Rose said, this is an every man for himself situation. Pillow Battle Royale!”

You jump off the back of the couch and body slam all three of them. From there everything is just a mess of pillows and limbs, feathers and insults flying everywhere. You have no idea who’s hitting you or who you’re hitting, but it doesn’t matter because you’re having a lot of fun and so is everybody else. At some pont you stop trying to say anything cool or clever and just start laughing. You had no idea pillow fights could be this fun! 

You have a feeling the pillow fight lasted a lot longer than they usually tend to, but honestly you wish it had gone on longer. There are a lot of past pillow fights to make up for still. 

“So,” John asks, panting, “who do you think won that?”

“Considering the fact that I’m laying on top of all three of you,” you reply, “I think me?”

Rose holds up her hand. “I concur.”

“You definitely got me beat.” Dave sighs. “I can’t even reach my pillow from here.”

You laugh and roll off of them. “That was fun! So what do you guys want to do now?”

They all start to get up, and you can see them thinking it over. 

“Well,” Rose says slowly, “we’re definitely not playing truth or dare.”

“Or spin the bottle.” Dave adds.

“Obviously not, that goes without saying.” Rose agrees. “So barring those two sleepover classics...”

“We could watch another movie?” John suggests.

“I’m not watching National Treasure 2.” Dave is quick to reply.

“Okay, fine. Nevermind, then.”  
“There’s a sequel?” You ask. You’re kind of curious about that. It seemed to end so well and without need of a sequel at all.

“Yeah, but we’re not watching it.”

“Okay, then.” You shrug. You’ll just get John to lend it to you later. “So what are we doing?”

Rose chews on her bottom lip, thinking whatever options were available carefully. “We could paint our nails and gossip while we wait for a pizza to get here.” She suggests. “That seems sleepover-ish enough, doesn’t it?”

“Yup.” Dave nods. “That has very sleepover vibes to me. Though usually I save all my gossip and nail painting for when I hang out with Kanaya. I don’t know what we’re going to do if mine are already done.”

“I feel your pain, Dave.” Rose pats his leg sympathetically. “I do the same with Karkat, but we usually get together and gossip under the guise of book club.”

“I knew your book club was fake.”

“Sure you did.” She rolls her eyes. “If you’re really worried about your gossip time with Kanaya being ruined, we’ll paint your toes, Dave.”

“So we’re painting our nails?” You ask for confirmation. “John, are you cool with getting your nails painted?”

“If everyone else is doing it, sure.” He shrugs. “I’ve never done it before, but I’ve also never been to a real sleepover before, so why not.”

You’re suddenly grateful to Kanaya and Roxy for introducing you to nail polish and giving you several bottles of various colors just because they thought you might like it. “Okay, I’ll go get my nail polish. Be right back!”

You bound up the stairs and over to the hall closet where your bathroom essentials and, as of recently, your nail polish. You gather all the bottles up into your arms and run back down the stairs with them. “Okay, I’m back!”

Rose, John, and Dave are all sitting in a circle around the coffee table. Their shoes and socks are all off.

“We all decided it would be far more fun to have everybody paint each other’s nails than to paint our own ourselves.” Rose announces. “Also Dave gave in and wants his finger nails painted, too.”

“Only if Jade agrees to do my hand.” Dave adds, holding up his right hand.

“Okay, I can do that!” You agree, taking a seat next to him. “This sounds way more fun!”

You dump your nail polish onto the table. “I think I have enough for everyone to choose two colors, so pick out what you want while I go order a pizza.”

“No anchovies!” Dave shouts after you.

“Yes anchovies!” John counters.

“Anchovies on half and we make John eat that half!” Rose chimes in.

“Never mind about the anchovies!”

You find the number for a pizza place you like that delivers to your neighborhood (you’d think being a god and all you’d be able to get delivery no matter what, but no) just in time to hear Dave replay, “Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought. Fuck those tiny salt fish.”

“Personally, I’m just glad he didn’t say pineapple.” Rose says. You’re typing the number into your phone while you walk back into the room.

“What do you think a pineapple anchovy pizza would taste like?” John asks wistfully while he shakes a bottle of sparkly blue nail polish.

“Death.”

“Shit and then death and then some more shit.”

“That sounds more accurate, can I change my answer?”

You order a sausage and a veggie pizza. You debate long and hard with yourself about ordering a pineapple anchovy pizza just because, but decide against it.

“Pizza should be here in an hour.” You announce. “Honestly it’ll probably be longer because of how far out we are, so I think we should have plenty of time to do this. Dave, give me your hand.”

Dave gives you his hand and a bottle of bright red polish, and you start painting. You haven’t been doing this for very long, so it’s not exactly great, but you don’t think Dave minds. From the corner of your eye, you see John struggling to paint Rose’s toenails. It’s a comfort to know you’re not the only one struggling with something so basic. 

There’s honestly not as much to gossip about as you thought. You mostly just talk about normal stuff, like cool games you’ve found or how none of you are really sure how the fuck to rule a kingdom as a ruler or a god or whatever.

“So, Rose, how’s the wife and multitude of troll larvae?” You ask.

“Fuck, it’s so weird to me that you’re married.” John says. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy for you and now that I know Kanaya I think she’s awesome, but I always feel like we’re so young and shit and then I remember that we’re like, in our twenties and we created this whole universe and you’re married to an awesome alien who you’re helping mother countless generations with. Do you know what I mean or is that just me?”

“I get what you mean.” You nod. “Honestly, it’s really easy to forget that we’re actual adults now, especially when we’re doing stuff like this. This makes me feel more like I’m thirteen than I think I did when I actually was thirteen.”

“Why the fuck are you guys trying to make me feel old?” Dave sighs. “I’m a coolkid, not a coolman. That’s not even a thing.”

“Kool-aid man was a thing.” John adds helpfully.

“Oh yeah.”

“Kanaya is good, and so are the grubs.” Rose interrupts, answering your original question. “That’s actually why I took so long. We were hatching a new brood today, and I wanted to make sure I was there to meet them. I have a few pictures of them if you want to see later.”

“Grubs are adorable, I definitely want to see them!” You reply excitedly. 

Dave takes his hand away from you and starts blowing on his nails to dry them. “Jade, hand.”

You give him your left hand and nudge your bottle of green nail polish over to him. Across the table, Rose has also taken over painting one of John’s hands. 

“You know, John,” Rose says as she paints, “one of the reasons you might not personally feel like an adult is because of your recent move. I can’t imagine you would feel you’ve reached the peak of maturity when you live with Jane and Mr. Crocker.”

“How is that, by the way?” You ask. “I feel like it would be fun but kind of weird.”

“Yeah, it is.” He nods. “Living with Jane is like living with a sister. I mean, a different sister, obviously. An older one who spends most of her time at work or Roxy and Calliope’s place, you know what I mean. And living with Mr. Crocker is nice, but sort of weird, too. He looks like my dad, and he kind of acts like him, but he’s also my son technically. It’s really, really weird, but I definitely prefer it over living alone.”

“That’s good.” Dave nods. He turns your hand slightly so he has a better angle on your pinkie. “Glad you’re not living alone anymore, dude.”

“Me, too.” John agrees. Rose finishes up his hand, and he holds it up above his head to get a good look at it. “Wow, this makes my paint job look like shit.”

Rose raises an eyebrow. “Why do you think I had you do my toes?” 

John gives an audible gasp. “Everything makes sense now.”

“Jade, you have me next.” Rose says to you across the table.

“Give her a second, I’m almost done.” Dave is hunched over your hand, trying his hardest to get an even coat on all of your nails. “Okay, she’s all yours. John, get to work on my foot.”

“You people have no faith in my ability to grow as a nail artist.” John sighs, shaking his head. 

You trade places with John and Rose gives you her hand. “Before you start, I have one thing to add.” She leans over the table and grabs a dark green bottle of nail polish. “I want you to paint my middle finger green.”

“Okay,” you laugh, “I can do that.”

You do her middle finger first. 

Dave looks over at what you’re doing. “Shit, that’s such a good idea! I wish I’d done that.”

“Well, you can’t now, because I already did.” Rose says smugly.

“Do you really think I’m above stealing your ideas, Rose?” Dave raises his eyebrows, they’re barely visible over his shades. “It’s not like I could do it right now, anyway, I don’t think Jade has a gray one.”

“That’s true, I don’t.” You put down the green nail polish and shake up the purple one Rose had been using previously. “I’ll think about getting one if we ever do this again.”

“Oh, we’re doing this again.”

“So Jade, what have you been up to recently?” Rose asks.

“You know,” you shrug, “the usual. Kanaya and I found out that Calliope’s never actually seen plant life before coming here, and the only plants Roxy’s well versed in are pumpkins, so we decided to build them a huge garden around their place. They both seem like they’d like having plants a lot.”

“You’re right, they do strike me as plant people.” Rose agrees. “Calliope especially, given her aspect and such.”

“And she literally has green thumbs,” John adds, “so it’s not like she could mess plants up at all.”

“John makes a fair point, she does have green thumbs.” Rose takes her hand back and surveys your work. “Nice.”

“Thanks, this is the third time I’ve ever painted nails.” You admit. “Second time they weren’t my own.”

“Well, you’re a natural.” Rose says as she shakes her hand in an attempt to dry it. “You’re picking it up faster than John, at the very least.”

“I’m working on it!” He says defensively.

“My entire little toe is red.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Yours, I’m pretty sure. You’re the one holding the brush.”

“So Jade,” Rose picks up your bottle of nail polish and pulls your attention away from the boys, “do you want me to paint your hand or your foot?”

“Foot. I think I’m gonna let John paint my fingernails.”

“That’s a bold move.”

“I’m a bold person.”

Rose laughs. “You know, you really are.”

Rose paints your toenails with smooth, easy brush strokes. You can tell she’s done this plenty of times before. Probably mostly on herself and then with Kanaya when she got to the meteor. She’s done a lot faster than Dave was with your hand. 

There’s one more switch around. You give John your hand to paint, and Rose offers Dave her hand. She tells him she wants the middle finger on this one purple and all the other fingers in the same dark green as before.

“Do you want anything special on yours?” John asks.

You shake your head. “Nope. Just the regular polish should be good.”

He starts painting your fingernails, and it’s a lot sloppier in contrast to what Rose was able to do with your toes. There’s about as much polish on your hands as there is on the actual nail, and it’s forming uneven globs in places.

“I didn’t think painting nails would be this hard.” He admits, looking at your hand with a furrowed brow. “Maybe I should start over.”

“No, it’s fine.” You wave away his concerns with your other hand. “The extra stuff should just peel off when it dries, I think. Do you want me to do your hand or your foot?”

He shrugs. “Whichever you want.”

You go for his hand and start painting. You just finish his thumb when there’s a knock at the door.

“That’s the pizza guy!” Has it really been an hour? “My nails are still wet, can someone else get it? Rose?”

“On it.” She stands up and walks over to the door. She has a brief discussion with the pizza delivery guy and comes back carrying two large boxes. “Where do you want these?”

“There’s enough room on the table, I think.” You push a couple stray bottles of polish out of the way.

Rose sets the pizzas down.

“Fuck, those smell good.” Dave sighs. “When do we eat them?”

“Soon.” You say. “When we’re done with this part, we’ll take a break and eat.”

“Awesome. Rose, hurry up.”

“I’m going as fast as I can, Dave.”

“No one’s eating until we’re all done!”

“Never mind, then. Take your time.”

You and Rose both finish painting Dave and John’s nails around the same time. Then it’s pizza time.

“It’s total bullshit that we created this universe but we still have to pay for pizza.” Dave says with his mouth full.

“I know!” John agrees. “I’d like a discount, at least.”

“Guys, paying for pizza’s not that big a deal.” You reply. “What else are we going to do with all the money we apparently have as gods?”

“Not spend it on pizza.”

Rose chuckles. “How much pizza are you buying that this is a legitimate concern, Dave?” 

“Enough.” He says before changing the subject. “Hey, Jade, I couldn’t help but notice how we all each still have one set of nails left unpainted. Are we supposed to paint that one ourselves or what’s the deal here?”

“I thought about that,” you say, “and we could definitely paint it ourselves, or we could all paint the last set together in a nail polish free for all.”

“So you mean we’d all be trying to swipe our brushes across the same digit canvas simultaneously?” Dave asks. “Like, with whatever color we wanted and everything?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Sounds cool, I’m in.”

The other two agree. The four of you eat almost all of the pizza, there’s only a few slices of veggie left over. You take both boxes and toss the empty one in your recycling pile. The other goes in the fridge. Maybe you’ll eat it tomorrow morning if you’re too lazy to make breakfast.

You return to the other room only to find your friends already armed with nail polish and wry smiles. Oh shit.

They rush you and you’re pushed onto the couch. One of them has ahold of your foot, you think Rose. You can feel the nail polish hitting parts of your foot that aren’t your nails. It’s pretty cold. You can also feel all of their hands on your feet, which really tickles. You have to fight the urge not to start kicking to get them off. You’re laughing so hard your ribs hurt.

Just like that, it’s over. You sit up, your leg is over the arm of the couch to give everyone easy access to your previously unpainted nails. You wiggle your now technicolor toes at them. There’s so much nail polish on you that it’s practically dripping.

“Wow,” you giggle, “thanks, guys. This looks like shit.”

“I’d like to see you try better.” 

“Oh believe me,” you reach over and grab a bottle of nail polish off the table, “I will.”

Rose is closer to you, so you get to her first. It doesn’t take you very long to learn that painting the same foot with two other people is a lot harder than you thought. You do manage to get the most polish on her foot, though. 

You learn quickly when you get to the boys that fingers are a lot harder to paint than toes. Nevertheless, it doesn’t take very long to get the whole thing covered. When you’re all done, the four of you are laying on the ground, laughing and just as out of breath as you were at the end of the pillow fight.

“I liked that.” You say after awhile. “What about you guys?”

“It was certainly the most interesting experience I’ve ever had painting nails.” Rose comments. “No, wait, second.”

“What was the first?”

“I’m not telling.”

“You would have to if we played truth or dare.” John points out.

“We’re not playing truth or dare.” Dave denies firmly.

“Then what are we doing next?” John wonders, stroking his chin.

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “I guess we could watch another movie.”

“But what movie? Dave already said no to National Treasure 2, for some reason.”

“That reason being that it’s trash.” He says. “Now that you mention it, I borrowed a movie from Dirk the other day and I’ve been meaning to watch it.”

“What is it?”

“Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff the Movovie.” The movie falls out of Dave’s sylladex, and he holds it up to show the three of you. “Y’all wanna watch the shit alpha me got famous for?”

“Hell yes.”

“Hell.”

“Fucking.”

“Yes.”

You all gather on the couch again while Dave puts the movie in. “I gotta warn you guys, this shit’s like two and a half hours long, and knowing me I probably lied about the running time and it’s actually longer. Better break for snacks while you can.”

“In that case, I think I’m going to secure myself another soda.” Rose stands up. “Anybody else want anything?”

“I’ll take an apple juice.”

“Of course you will.” Rose rolls her eyes. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Rose leaves, and Dave runs over and steals the spot she was sitting in. 

“Dave, what are you doing?”

“Taking my revenge.” He replies, sinking deeper into the cushions. 

Rose returns, carrying a soda and a cup of apple juice, but she stops dead in her tracks when she sees where Dave is sitting. 

“Take that.” He flips her off, a look of triumph on his face.

Without taking her glare off Dave, Rose brings the cup of apple juice up to her lips and starts chugging. She drains the entire cup, wipes her mouth, and sets it down on the coffee table. “Fuck you, Dave.”

The movie starts, and Rose takes a seat on the floor by your feet.

You don’t have much to say about the movie, except that it’s definitely interesting. You could imagine Dave doing something like this with his life. 

“Wow,” John mutters ten minutes into the film, “it’s like you took your shitty webcomic, randomized it, put it through a shredder, and then pasted it together to make a single script that you made the actors recite from memory on the spot in an abandoned warehouse.”

“Knowing me, that’s probably exactly what I did.” Dave admits. “Spot on observation, John.”

“This makes me wish my eyes could throw up, congratulations, Dave.”

“Rose, your approval is literally all I ever wanted.” He responds. “That, and your spot on this couch.”

She punches him in the leg. You all continue to watch the movie. It doesn’t really seem to have a plot, but you can’t tear your eyes away from the screen. The colors are so obnoxious that it’s impossible to do so. You also have no idea which parts are the jokes. That’s okay, though, because you’ve been laughing at the whole thing.

You’re about an hour in when Dave starts yawning.

“Oh my god, are you bored by your own movie?” You ask, incredulous. 

“No, I’m just kinda tired, you know?” He mumbles. “Staying up late is hard.”

He leans against you, and you all continue to watch the movie. About a half hour later, Geromy makes an appearance.

“Holy fuck,” Dave laughs, “I got Will Smith to play Geromy? That’s awesome, go alpha me! I gotta remember to tell Karkat about that later, he’s totally going to shit himself when he hears about that.”

“Karkat has a thing for Will Smith?” John inquires.

“Yeah, his thing for him’s almost as big as yours for Cage.” Dave nods. “Man, if they ever did a movie together, I bet you’d both keel over from excitement. Kill two nerds with one stone.”

“You’d revive us, though, obviously.” John says. “You love both of us too much to let us stay dead like that for more than a couple minutes.”

“Yeah, you got me there. No worries, you’d both be fine except for all the ridicule I’d reign down on you for it.”

“Guys, if you wouldn’t mind, I’m still trying to watch this movie.” 

“Right. Yeah. Sorry, Jade.”

The movie does turn out to be longer than the running time said, and by the time you hit two hours and forty-five minutes, Dave’s out. 

“Should we wake him up?” John asks, reaching over to poke Dave tentatively in the shoulder. You wave his hand away.

“It’s fine. It’s getting late, and he’ll probably watch this movie again soon, anyway.”

Three and a half hours in, the movie comes to a sudden, nonsensically midsentence end. You have no idea what happened. You feel like you sat here and hallucinated at the tv for several hours instead of watched an actual movie made by actual people.

“Well, that’s over.” Rose rubs one of her eyes. “Now what?”

“How opposed are you to National Treasure 2?” 

“I’m not.” She replies. “Even if I was opposed to it, it wouldn’t matter at this point. I’m probably going to go to bed.”

“I could try to make room for you on the couch, or there’s a bed upstairs if you want it.” You offer.

“No, no.” She waves a hand at you. “Your floor is pretty comfortable, I’ll just sleep here. Try not to step on me, okay?”

“Okay.”

John steps carefully over Rose and puts in the movie. It starts, and within a few minutes Rose is fast asleep and snoring on the floor. John turns off the lights and you turn down the volume to make sure you don’t accidentally wake any of the sleeping people. If you’re being honest with yourself, you’re getting a little tired too. You glance over at John, just barely visible from the glow of the screen. He’s leaning heavily against the arm of the couch.

“Hey, Jade.” He yawns.

“Yes?”

“I had a lot of fun tonight.” He takes off his glasses and lays them on the coffee table. “We should do this again sometime. Soon.”

“Yeah,” you agree, unable to fight the sleepy smile overtaking your face, “we should.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this! I hope you liked it! :D


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